Evil flies from outer space.

My dog is slightly retarded. But at the same time, he's extremely smart, like, he could totally pass one of those doggy I.Q. tests with flying colors or at least with a score of "good enough". I guess he's like a sevant except sevants are good at only like one thing and my dog is smart with several things but then he can be really, really stupid sometimes like running into walls stupid. My dog runs into walls.

So when my dog was younger (like five minutes ago) he was afraid of flies. Yes. Flies. He is a fully grown, old man dog and he is terrified by these things.

Except when my dog sees, them, they must look something like this.

Or this

So if you are a small, buzzing creature, please stay away from my dog, or at least stop telling him that you're going to eat his soul. Because whenever he sees flies or similar insects, he goes into a frenzied panic mode and then runs upstairs as if the fly doesn't have you know, wings or something and can't make it up that high. And then he lays down and pants a lot exhausted like he just escaped from the battlefield in 'Nam or something because he has a thyroid problem or something and you shouldn't make fun of him because it's rude.

And now for your viewing pleasure, a picture of my dog Riley. With a hat.

P.S. I just now realized that it looks like he's wearing a blue pope hat in the picture but it's not I promise even though that would be awesome. You know what? Just pretend that it's a pope hat.