What seems to happen is I will run full force into practicing guitar and I'm going to be the best guitar player ever except not do heroin but then I get like fifteen minutes into practicing and realize I can't do it and get bored and decide to go watch TV. The same thing goes for writing. I have written one chapter of tons of books. I think I made it to the third chapter once, and that's because I decided to make the first two chapters really really short so that I could make it to the third chapter. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I don't ever update this blog again after this post or even just stop in the middle of
Did you get it? Because I like, totally stopped in the middle of my sentence making you think that I lost attention and it was a great joke and not extremely lame because you've seen people do or say something like that a million times and the Simpsons probably did it.
Having a short attention span is detrimental to my future. Because what sounds awesomerer? "Hi, I'm Sam, I'm a doctor." Or, "Hi, I'm Sam, I'm a kung-fu fighting robot killing rock author star who also is an actor and best friends with all the famous people." I'll let you decide that one.
It seems as if my attention span is out to get me. Like it has some sort of vendetta against me and it doesn't want me to have fun or do anything neat ever. Because I can focus on boring stuff perfectly well. Slightly well. Okay I can't focus on boring stuff all that well either but I can magically remember what happened when not paying attention to boring stuff so it's like I payed attention. But really cool stuff loses my attention fast and I don't remember them as well. It's like you can either chose to sit through all of Click or you can watch five minutes of Billy Madison instead. It's a terrible, awful decision that no one should ever have to make. I mean, on one hand, Click was a terrible Adam Sandler movie, and Billy Madison was terrific. But on the other hand, you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that you only got to watch five minutes of Billy Madison. You didn't even get to hear the "Back to School" song or that one line about snack packs or souls that God has mercy on.
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| My attention span is like V and the British government is really cool awesome stuff |
But probably the worst of all is exercising. It's not something awesome to me, but it's awesome for me so I guess my attention span hates it too. But I'll go in super healthy feeling like I'm going to be the greatest exerciser but then I'm like "wait didn't I just run yesterday? I'll do it tomorrow" and then tomorrow I'll forget that I didn't do it yesterday, because remember I told you that my attention span is short? And so I won't ever exercise again because I just did it yesterday and I don't feel like it.
And that's how I have self diagnosed ADD.
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